On toilet selfies and traumatized Albertans
Based on a prompt from Plinky: Have you ever received an amusing email, text, or voicemail message not intended for you?
Actually, I’ve never been on the receiving end of this particular type of text or email failure, but I have been the person that the message was intended for. It was an innocent person in Alberta who was recently the unfortunate victim of my friend Byron and his toilet selfie.
Byron is an interesting person. We’ve been long distance friends for many years and we’re a bit of an odd pair. He lives life to its fullest: he’s always doing something either totally random or terribly creative, always going out somewhere, always meeting people and making new friends, and is generally well-liked wherever he goes. I am a lot quieter. I like to stay in, relax and consume fiction, and people don’t ever automatically like me. Despite our differences, we’ve had a pretty good, and interesting friendship over the years.
He knows that I’m not all that in to texting. Years of communicating with internet people using only instant messengers has made me learn the value of communicating as personally and intimately as possible. I still call people and I still leave voice messages even if I know they’ll never be heard. If given the choice, I will nearly always choose to hear a person’s voice rather than read words on a screen — the exception being skyping with internet people I don’t know particularly well. For this reason, I’ve apparently been missing out on a lot of random weird texts from Byron because he figured I wouldn’t like them.
“Send me things!” I told him.
Not being a huge fan of texting doesn’t mean that I don’t want to enjoy whatever weird thing he might take a photograph of one day or whatever else. And so he agreed, and warned me that I was definitely in for something really stupid. Unfortunately, the poor boy hadn’t properly updated his contacts, and I’ve changed my phone number a lot over the past year due to moving away and back again.
So, this happened:
Yes, he sent that toilet selfie to some poor Albertan who was assigned my old phone number. I don’t think much else needs to be said about it. My meager wit couldn’t possibly do it justice.
I love you, BJ. Never change ❤